I was talking to one of the team the other day. I was trying to coach him. I didn’t just want to tell him what to do. I wanted him to think about what I was saying, then come back to me with his own solution.

When I asked him about that solution the next day, he was completely blank.

Every time I tell him to do something specific, he does it perfectly. On time. I never even need to check.

I’d assumed he was ready to take the next step. To be coached not directed. He wasn’t.

Not everybody is coachable all the time.

And you can’t make them ready. You have to wait for them.

I’m bad at that.

Ask my wife or daughters. They’ll tell you I’m terrible in the garden. I can’t wait for plants to grow. I want them to get bigger, faster. I’m always feeding them, tending them. I must waste the most seeds in the whole of Colorado.

Because if you overwater a seed before it’s ready to grow, it will die.

Not everyone is always ready to embrace change. Just as not every seed is ready to grow all the time.

I made a lot of mistakes myself in the early years because I wasn’t ready. I didn’t pick up on how significant Google adwords were going to be when the platform first hit the scene. My risk/reward profile wasn’t right. I just wasn’t ready to get into managing performance media, back in 2001.

But when programmatic first became possible, I was all over DoubleClick Bid Manager. I was completely ready for that opportunity.

Like the seed, I was ready to grow. It all seemed so simple.

Here’s the thing: coaching only works when someone wants to be coached. No amount of mentoring, nudging, or impassioned speeches will move someone who is not already seeking growth. Someone who is NOT ready.

And as a Leader, you only have 95 “productive and waking” hours each week.

So why invest any of them in people who aren’t ready – yet? You’re like a farmer trying to make seeds grow outdoors in the middle of winter.

Want to make a real impact on the people in your Business ‘life’?

Here’s how I think about it, in four steps:

Step 1: Get uncomfortable.
Divide your team into two groups: those who are ready to change (the podcast-listeners, the question-askers) and those who nod politely but never really engage. Don’t worry; we all have both types.

Step 2: Build a new habit.
Stop spending energy trying to light a fire under the nodders. Instead, double down on the ones who are already sparking with curiosity.

Step 3: Multiply your value.
Preaching to the uninterested doesn’t just waste time – it often damages relationships. Invest in the people who want to grow, and watch your impact skyrocket.

Step 4: Think bigger.
Leaders have limited time. Focus your energy where it counts – be transformational with the growth-minded.

(Btw, the above 4 steps follow my Return on Marketing Career (RoMC) framework - to learn about RoMC, read this post.)

When you’re trying to shift a team member from directive management to coaching, they need to be ready to embrace autonomy and growth. You can tell when someone’s ready through a number of signs. Deci and Ryan's ‘Self-Determination Theory’ identifies autonomy, competence, and relatedness as critical motivators for team members.

Employees show readiness when they seek input, not instruction, and demonstrate initiative. You’ll know someone can embrace change when they start to solve their own problems rather than simply tell you about them. This signals their desire to own their growth and to take control.

Emotional cues matter too. In his book ‘Emotional Intelligence’ Daniel Goleman highlights growing self-awareness and self-regulation as key indicators of readiness to change. If someone seeks feedback without defensiveness and reflects on their actions, they’re primed for coaching. By asking them open-ended questions – like "What do you think is the best way forward?" – you can see if they’re ready to critically assess situations themselves.

The pivotal moment often comes when an employee moves from compliance to contribution, showing they want impact, not just tasks.

If you’d like to discuss your career journey with me one-to-one, please feel free to email me at [email protected] or message me on LinkedIn.

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